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The Never Know | Time Travel Writing Challenge

No Doc! It’s Just a Repost

The other day I overheard an interview on the radio. The host asked the interviewee an old cliché: “If you could meet anyone from history, who would that person be?

I don’t remember the interviewee, I remember thinking his answers were as cliché as the questions though: Jesus, Gandhi, etc .  Admittedly, I wasn’t in the most positive of moods, but I didn’t find myself thinking of individuals from history who I already held in esteem.  Instead I found myself thinking, who is dead that I’m not sure I agree with?

The person who popped into my head was Ayn Rand.  This was odd though: (1) because Ayn Rand’s philosophy isn’t necessary something I have a particular problem with (2) I hadn’t thought of her philosophy in years.  

I am not a scholar on her works, so you don’t have to worry about this getting highly opinionated, I promise. In addition it’s only a thought I had in a fleeting moment, so if the answers to my musings are easily found on the internet, I apologize, but this isn’t a research paper. 

Like most people, I read Atlas Shrugged at some point in my twenties.  The book didn’t blow my mind but it did make me introspect, especially when at times I’d felt a sympathy for her villains, even when I could see they were plainly being ‘villains.’ 

I realized that what I really wanted was to bring Ayn into the world of now, and see if she could sway me to her philosophy in a modern context. 

Let me digress a moment here. The problem with reading about the thoughts of a scholar is that you only have the answer to the questions they specifically answered. What if you wanted to tweak a detail of that question?  

On this day in particular I had been searching government websites in order to make sure the company I work for was compliantly doing business.  This was difficult for me, not because I couldn’t find what I was looking for, but because none of the available literature was written from the appropriate stand point of our business.  Everything I read could have been extrapolated into one answer or another, but without being able to look an expert in the face and ask the exact question I wanted answered, I could never be sure.  Eventually I gave up and actually tried calling the government branch associated to what I was looking for. Despite my predictions, this worked out perfectly.  Someone actually answered, I phrased the question exactly how I wanted it, and got a definitive yes/no.

So if I wanted to know, what might Ayn think on a topic like:

  •          If a modern environmentalist movement got in the way of a company’s production? 
  •          If large companies take control of the internet and get to decide what would be given bandwidth or access at all?
  •          If things that were produced virtually and required little to no physical properties to replicate?
  •          What if technology reached a point where all life sustaining requirements could be produced in a self-sustaining and automated manner?  Would a person be selfish to make others work for food/shelter in such context?
  •          What happens when we reach a point in our knowledge where only the truly exceptional, and highly educated can hope to contribute to the advancement of mankind?  When is it reasonable to say, this person literally was born without the possibility of contributing something solid?

You might think I’m expressing a bias by the nature of these questions, but I don’t think I am, I’d really like to know what she’d say.  Like I said, I’ve always been on the fence with her philosophy.

You know what? Nevermind! I’d rather go back in time and find out what sexual position cave men favored.  

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/03/31/writing-challenge-time-machine/

The Never GoDaddy | The Evil Which Must Not Be Named

 

Image

I really… really… really want to drive this point home. So I am going to start this with a few elegant bullets points:

  •          I seldom review products, especially if I don’t like a product.
  •          I never call tech support to complain, because I have worked in tech support.
  •          I did not do any research before I purchased this product.  This was a mistake.
  •          I have a patience that could put Buddhist monks to shame. I enjoy sitting in traffic!   That said, I’ve got nothing on kindergarten teachers, but I don’t think they are human.
  •          I don’t get angry.

I am going to repeat that last one. I DON’T GET F&@*@#G ANGRY.

Now to give additional perspective, I am reflecting on the last time I was THIS PISSED OFF.  It must have been when I was roughly 22 years old and still capable of a testosterone driven rage.  I am now 33.

UNDERSTAND: I have not been this angry in 11 years.  The no-exaggeration ridiculousness of this, it took less than 10 minutes to get me here!

10 MINUTES of using GoDaddy’s Web Building software and I am angrier than I can remember being in 11 YEARS!

I am not going to bore you with details.  No one wants a play by play of web page design.

Instead I am going to do 3 things:

  •          I hereby declare that GoDaddy’s Web Building Software is so awful, that the internet should come to refer to GoDaddy as VOLDEMORT.  That is right, THE EVIL THAT CAN’T BE NAMED!
  •          I am going to start compiling a list of links associated to just how bad this service is: Oh look, found one already : Go Daddy Hosting Sucks.com
  •          I am going to start researching moving my hosting to another service, probably no matter what the cost.

I have been more productive creating that stupid image at the top of this post then I have been on GoDaddy’s Site Builder all night.

The Never Quitter | The Author, The Story, and The Question  

No Failure Zone

I know this guy.  Let’s call him Henry.

When Henry was in high school, he discovered that he loved writing.  It was the only scholarly endeavor for which he found an innate ability within himself.  He got swept up in being good at something on the first try, as it wasn’t a thing that happened often.  Still, Henry realized it was easy to feel talented in a creative writing class of 30 students who hadn’t yet set foot on a college campus.

When the time came to choose a Major in college, Henry didn’t go for Journalism or English.  Why? In a word: cowardice. He didn’t believe he’d ever really be able to make it back then.  The idea of writing a novel, then fighting to find a publisher, and piling up a stack of rejection letters scared the hell out of him. So, he ended up in Molecular Biology of all things.  At the time, Henry told himself that he was using his head and picking a major that would make him employable.  It wasn’t black and white, he didn’t simply sell out to this notion, he had an honest interest in the mechanics of life, and a need to understand the natural world. He didn’t regret the decision because it was the understanding of these things that would later lead him right back to being inspired to write, but I’ll try not to jump ahead.

Getting a job, it turned out, was a lot like getting published, just on a smaller scale.  Henry found that part of his original “cowardice” ironic.  When he graduated, he ended up working at a gym for a year before he finally got a job at a lab.

He told me once that he remembered thinking, “finally, I’ve got my foot in the door, a job in my field.”

Once working in his ‘field,’ he began to slowly hate his life.  Henry thinks a lot of science majors go through this.  He was fighting the realization that, though he may have liked learning about biology, actively being involved in research for it just wasn’t where he would excel.

He attempted to write a novel during this time.  Unfortunately, the depression that his daily grind was putting on him, coupled with the economic downturn around 2008, morphed into a feeling of being trapped in his job.  Those feelings bleed straight into his writing. His characters were so jaded even his wife didn’t want to read what he produced.  So he gave up on the manuscript, tossed it in a folder titled “misc” on his hard drive after about 60 pages.

Later, he left the lab, and took a job in what we’ll just call ‘business.’ Think cubicles, computer screens, never-ending email, and a lot of over time.  He was happier than he’d been at the lab, at least for a while.  Eventually, the distaste for his situation reared its head again. He found himself thinking that maybe he just needed some adventure.  He even thought of joining the National Guard.  One day Henry runs this by a good friend, who happens to be x-military, and the friend stares at him like he is retarded.

“No.  God no.  Punch yourself in the balls and go write a book,” says the friend.  I’m paraphrasing but you get the point.

It was a long conversation, but this friend opens Henry’s eyes to the eBook revolution.  Sure, he’d heard of a kindle before, but he had no idea what was going on in the industry.  Suddenly Henry’s great fear of having to surmount some bureaucrat nightmare of manuscript submissions and rejections just evaporates.  Not only that, he sees the other benefits.  He sees that no marketing executive can tell him what his cover will look like, what genre it falls in, what demographic it has to fit.  Henry’s brain lights up with the possibilities of actually writing the story he always wanted to read.  He is so inspired, he starts straight to work.  In a few months, he completes the first draft of his novel.  All accomplished in the hours between working and sleeping.

Everything seems so promising for a while, it’s the same story Henry had tried to get out before, but now his wife loves the voice of the prose and the characters.  He runs the concept by friends and they get excited.  He starts the revision process, and to his surprise, it takes longer then writing the first draft.  He didn’t expect this, but it just drives him forward instead of pushing him back. Up till this point, Henry is simply happy to be creating something. Writing and being creative was keeping away the blues that he often experience from 10 hour days at work.  It didn’t even matter if he believed in what he was doing so to speak.  Worst that could happen, he posted the book on Amazon and maybe no one bought it.

“So I can’t quit my day job, no big deal,” he says, “I’m not saying it wouldn’t be disappointing, but at least I was happy while I was writing.”

Then something odd happens.  Henry is suddenly afraid again.  He realizes that he’s put more positive energy into this project than anything he’s ever done. That he has spent the last year with this novel either on the forefront of his mind or at least orbiting his consciousness. Every time his wife was giving Henry the grocery list he was half distracted with tying up a plot hole or making a character more believable in his head. Every time he heard the perfect word he’d been looking for uttered in some random conversation at the office, he‘d run to his notepad to make sure he wouldn’t lose it.

He knows why he is afraid now.  Henry realizes there is more at stake then he originally thought.  He really does believe in this thing he created.  He won’t be able to just brush it off.  He doesn’t have any delusions of grandeur, Henry gets that every author comes to fall in love with the story they’ve written.  What he finds he can’t stand has nothing to do with how the book is received. Sure, he’d like the story to be loved, but he can live with bad reviews.  What Henry can’t stand is the idea of the book never being read because it’s lost in a tidal wave of e-books and indie authors with the same exact dream.

Suddenly, the liberating things that got Henry to this point are the things he dwells on.  Henry is scared that he can’t fit his manuscript into a genre, and the ones it does fit are either two broad or seem to give the wrong impression.  He doesn’t know how to make it stand out against the other 10 thousand entries that are going to show up long before his book on Amazon’s search engine.  He is researching SEO Tags. He gets overly nervous when he can’t seem to generate any traffic to his book trailer.  He worries that he has no original ideas for a platform, that networking is not one of his strong suits.  Everything that made the process exciting is now what makes it frightening.  His demographic matters, his genre matters, his book cover might look terrible to 90% of the people who’d of otherwise liked his book.

What is more, he realizes that this is what he wants to do, and he is no longer deluding himself about it.  Henry doesn’t want to squeak writing into his life between 7-9 pm and weekends anymore.  He sees successful authors churning out 2 or 3 books a year and he is overly aware of the advantage they have over him.  He realizes all this because he can finally say these words to himself:

“I know I can do it.”

It’s such a vitally important statement to Henry, because it’s not an untested dream any longer. Not just some idle, “I’d like to write a novel someday.”  If he can write a book is no longer a question . He did it even under these exhausting circumstances.  The new question is:  what could he do if he was writing for 40 hours a week?  This question becomes the fear though. He may never get to live that dream, not when he is working a full time job to support his family.  The success of this story he’s created suddenly becomes all the more important.

Henry realizes the simple truth, that this is a matter of energy.  Writing a book, while working a full time job took a lot of sacrifices.  Most of them, for Henry, were health and family sacrifices.  He found it was impossible to work full time and go to the gym 4-5 days week.  He just didn’t have the mental or physical stamina.  He’d get home and fall over.  If he hadn’t quit working out, he knew without a doubt that he wouldn’t of made it this far.  In addition to that, writing took up the 2-3 hours of time where he wasn’t at work or commuting, and it meant he wasn’t spending that time with his family. It’s a funny thing to mention now, but he got a promotion while he was writing, which meant more overtime in the end and even less writing time.

So this becomes Henry’s fear, that he won’t have the fortitude to do this again if he can’t find his audience. It’s that self-doubt that really burdens him: “Can I endure until I find them?”  Henry, after all, does not need outrageous success. He is just looking for enough readers to make story crafting his full time job.

 

The Never Parent | I HAVE THE POWER

Like All Parents, I gain great joy from torturing my step-son in the service of his scholastic endeavors.  Recently I was given a new weapon in the battle, the power to turn off the router (internet access) with my smart phone.   How does this make me feel?

It a beautiful thing really,  he gets home from school, planning a day of doing nothing worthwhile, usually watching clips of other people playing minecraft on youtube.  (A behavior that drives me up a wall)  Only to find the internet refuses to provide its normal pipeline of mindless entertainment.

He texts me.

“Internet.”

I am at work so he can’t call unless it’s an emergency. We talked about this after he interrupted a meeting to ask me to bring home a burrito.

Now, when he wants the internet, I give him a list of chores, and he has to text me when they are completed to turn the internet back on.  I don’t have to endure any complaining about it.  He either has to do chores, or entertain himself without the internet.  You can imagine what he picks each time.

This week, I kept a tally of every word he spelled wrong in text messages to me.  One of the chores was to write each word he misspelled 10 times.  The following ensued:

Childtexting
Click On Image to Enlarge

Now he is afraid to text me if he doesn’t have the internet on to use spell check.

The Never Genre | Genre Should Be A Four Letter Word

So, you’ve written this book, it’s almost ready for publication, and inevitably you are going to have to throw it in a category.    

Any other authors get anxious about this? I’d love to share my fears with you.  Let me know if your story plays out something like mine.

There was a time that I was trying to keep my story light enough that I could call it YA.  Hollywood and the internet would lead me to believe that most adult readers are shopping for their literature in that category. Inevitably though, the reality of my character’s lives didn’t make sense through PG-13 lenses. So I feared that I’d be sacrificing good story telling for the sake of demographics.  On the other hand, I made great effort to reign in my vocabulary, so if YA simply means  ‘easy to read,’ then maybe I could still fit.  After all, Hunger Games is considered YA, if teenager on teenager violence can fit the bill maybe my book can?  Oh wait… sorry my mistake… it’s not the violence, but the sex I’d I have to take out.

Yes it’s true, I don’t remember Hermione and Ron getting busy, took Edward and Bella four books to get there.  Katniss? Nope don’t think so.  Wait, what about that Divergent series? Didn’t that have sex in it?  Dammit! I can’t remember! I think it maybe it did!  Again though, most my characters are age 22-25, so it wouldn’t seem very plausible if they were all saving themselves for marriage… or even just book 3.

For awhile, I thought there might be hope in this whole New Adult genre.  It was a short while.  As quickly one discovers that this is just the polar opposite of YA.  I’m not sure that you can be in the new adult anymore unless you’re basically writing a romance novel centered on ‘young adults’.  Well, my book has sex in it, but more or less in a ‘you know which characters are sleeping together’ manner.  In other words, I don’t spend my chapters trying to get the reader from one sex scene to the next.    Anyhow, New Adult seemed out of the question.

Now, here comes the avalanche of Genres that will give people the wrong impression the moment I pick one, even if some elements apply:

Fantasy: Well, it’s not set in a medieval period and there aren’t any wizards or dragons. So I guess this is out.

Dystopian/Post-Apocalypse:  No

Apocalypse: Maybe, but this seems to get saddled with a religious expectation.

Supernatural: Nope, no magic, no ghosts, no vampires.

Supernatural Romance: No already, and definitely not enough romance.

Urban Supernatural: YES YES! It does take place (mostly) in one city.  Ugg, there is that other word again.

Historical Fiction: Well, it’s takes place 7 years ago, but I don’t think that will cut it.

Action/Adventure: Yes, but it’s not predominantly either.  It could just as easily be called Suspense Thriller.

Science Fiction: Sadly, this might apply. Admittedly there is an alien, and there are multidimensional travelers.  Still, that really isn’t the focus and people might be disappointed if I market it as pure sci-fi.  The emphasis is the dilemma, not the technology making the unique dilemma possible.  That and putting your novel under science fiction is like throwing a toothpick into a volcano. (name that reference, gold star will be provided)

Urban Science Fiction: This was my front runner.  Then I realized that basically no one reads it.

Super Hero: Again, it applies, but it would give quite the wrong impression.

Fiction/Mystery/Noir…. Ehh you see my point.

So I change gears.  Do I have a target audience? I guess I expect that men age 20-30 would best relate to my main character.  Yet as far as I can tell, this might be the least likely subset of the population to pick up a book, let alone mine.  I thought that this impression might exist only in my head but research supports it.  Apparently, my best bet to reach that male demographic was non-fiction.

The thing is, I didn’t write a book for men, but the spark that set the fuse was the question “what is wrong with men?”  So in a way, I want men to read it and see if it resonates.  On the other hand, there isn’t any reason a woman couldn’t relate to the main character, just because the question about men set the fuse for the plot, I still made great effort to focus on story and not message.

Regardless of all this, I am starting to wonder if I can just make up my own genre when I publish.

Urban Apocalypse | Could call it Urban Apoc for short.  Maybe it would distance itself from the religious context.  I like the contradiction as well, centering the global apocalypse into a fixed spot. No?  Maybe? Crap… someone already thought of it!

Anyone else writing any Urban Apoc these days?  I’d really like to hear from other authors on their struggle with genre selection.

The Never Name | Response to DPChallenge

My parents had two boys  and I was the younger.  It was 33 years ago now, there was no sonogram performed, so they didn’t know what sex I would be.   However, this did not stop my mother from wishful thinking.  Her doctor at the time let slip some pseudo-science theory that my heart beat was indicative of a female.   My parents always wanted a boy and a girl, so I think they were eager to believe that it sounded plausible.  Still, I don’t think my mother was so stoked to find out that she was now in a house with three boys.  I say this, because 8 days after I was born, I still didn’t have a name… but more about that later.

When I think of my name, two things come to mind: (1) a character that belongs in an 80’s movie, a D-bag with a sweater tied around his shoulders driving off to go play tennis in a convertible. (2) Kurt Russell.

Kurt Russell?

I have a rule about clothing.  It’s simple and it’s served me well. If the leading man in an action movie wouldn’t wear something, I don’t wear it. It’s saved me from a number of wardrobe purchases I’d of regretted.  I think the same applies to names, and if I ever have a son of my own*, he’s getting a main character name.  Look, its like this, if I don’t give my son the name of a cool protagonist, then his story is destined to be one of a comedy side kick.  That said,  in 1999 there was an action movie where the main character had my name.  It starred Kurt Russell, and I think it’s noteworthy as the name is tattooed on his face throughout the entire film.

Still, this isn’t where Kurt Russell and my name part ways.  In a coincidence, Mr. Russell provided the voice of the adult hound dog named Copper in Disney’s Fox and the Hound.  Now, if you know Latin, and haven’t looked up movies from 1999 with Kurt Russell, you might already know my name.  My name means “Fox” in Latin, and Disney, being clever, named the Fox of their movie after me.  There is an obvious ‘Fox’ joke here where I try to imagine my parents precognitive ability to know I be so damn sexy, but its eluding me.

Regardless of all that nonsense, my name is simple and one syllable.  It doesn’t take 9 months and 8 days to come up with.    So I don’t believe my mother when she tells me she wasn’t hoping for a girl.

*I have a step son and his name is awesome, but I didn’t get to pick it.           

The Never Blog | Humor

You see pictures with captions on them everywhere on the internet. I’ve never made any, so today I tried my hand at it. Not sure if anyone will fall to floor laughing, but I went with the first 4 ideas that came to mind.

The Power of Positive Thinking
I can’t help it. Demotivational humor always makes me laugh.

#Demotivation

My elected champion of poor book to film adaptations
I still don’t know who to hate for this.

#SwordofTruth, #TerryGoodkind, #legendoftheseeker

Worst casting... I'm still not over it
Worst casting… I’m still not over it

#TopherGrace, #Spiderman, #Venom, #ToddMcfarlane

JediCats
I just want to see these video loose control of themselves and become a tidal wave of cat on cat light saber action…

#Jedicats.

So,  I got sarcasm, kittens, terrible television, and comic books on this first round.  Maybe next time I’ll do cubicles, coffee, and puppies.

 

 

The Never Ninja | Contacting A Celebrity… Kind Of.

So, I’ve never tried to contact a celebrity. I’ve never even tried to contact an internet celebrity.
Okay wait, fact check: that is a lie – admittedly I once sent an email to #SylvesterStallone through a link on his fan site. I never got a reply. It was a letdown, at least a month later when I remembered I’d actually done so. I felt so expendable…
Anyhow, I was inspired to set the bar to a more achievable level this morning. I’ve watched #AskANinja posts every once in a while since I saw the Ninja review of Pirates of Caribbean.

I’d explain the Story further but I think the email I sent does the Job:

Hi Ninja,
Should You Get Engaged To A Ninja?
I have a colleague at work who has referred to his girlfriend as “the ninja” since I met him. This week he announced that he is now engaged to “the Ninja.”
I actually don’t know her real name come to think of it.
Anyhow, any advice for someone who just got engaged to a Ninja?

Thank you for your professional consultation on the matter,

I did get a fun automated reply:
The Ninja will read your question carefully and then decide whether or
not it’s interesting and funny.
If it is, he’ll answer it and look forward to killing you soon.
If it isn’t, he’ll still kill you, but he won’t enjoy it.

Well, they already have a point on Stallone just for the acknowledgement.

The Never Trailer | The Book Trailer is Finally On YouTube!

Finally!  Here it is, The Never Hero Book Trailer!

This labor of love is a compilation of:

  • About two weeks of learning Adobe Premiere and After Effects.
  • Six hours of searching in order to license the perfect track of music.
  • Countless hours tinkering with the wording and transitions.
  • Don’t get me started on the Fog!

I spent 3 days watching tutorials of advanced after effects users trying to get a fog effect only to later realize I could have figured it out in about half and hour if I hadn’t made the assumption that it would be difficult.

This probably goes without saying, but if everyone who watches this trailer could like and share the living heck out of it, I’d really appreciate it!

In addition: The Never Hero Official Website | Got its own makeover to go along with the trailer launch.

The Never Lecture | SOPs for Handling a Teenager | Rebooted

 Couldn’t get the PDF of this to display properly.  Instead, just dropping text into entry below:

THE NEVER BLOG | PARENT – TEENAGER WEEKEND INTERACTION SOP

AUTHOR(s):

T. Ellery Hodges

DATE OF IMPLIMENTATION:

March 8th, 2014 (BETA VERSION 0.1)

PURPOSE:

To show due diligence and reasonable care in the implementation of negotiations verbally agreed upon by legal parent(s) | INSERT NAME(s) | and prerequisite teenager | (INSERT NAME).

MEDIA:

Records will be maintained electronically on TNB Servers (aka Dad’s Hard drive), and can be referenced as public record on company TNB social media archive (http://telleryhodges.wordpress.com/).  Some reference materials are not public record and will be archived in Dad’s filing cabinet.

PROCESS OVERVIEW:

  • Section 1 – Teenager Waking Responsibilities | Non-Reward Based
  • Section 2 – Teenager Responsibilities | Reward Based
  • Section 3 – Parental Obligations | (Positive and Negative)

PROCESS:

SECTION 1 – TEENAGER WAKING RESPONSIBILITIES | NON-REWARD BASED

As the specified teenager has claimed ignorance of certain non-negotiable responsibilities in the past, the following, though seemingly obvious, responsibilities will be outlined:

  • If teenager awakes on couch with television set and/or gaming console still on, teenager is in violation of both the Bedtime SOP (LINK PENDING) and the Energy Consumption SOP (LINK PENDING).
    • If Teenager has foresight, they should at least show enough self-interest to shut off said device before parental unit discovers SOP deviation.
  • If teenager finds house temperature under comfortable levels, teenager is approved to operate thermostat.  However, this is only after the following conditions have been met:
    • Teenager is wearing socks, pants1, and outer garment greater than or equal to a long sleeved shirt. Failure to meet these conditions will result in deviation of the previously mentioned Energy Consumption SOP (LINK PENDING).
  • Teenager will brush their teeth without being reminded 2.
  • Teenager will consume 1 vitamin supplement as provided in container on kitchen counter.
    • Additional |should parental units fail to provide adequate supply; teenager will not be held responsible for procurement and consumption of said vitamin supplement.
    • Further Additions | Statement also applies to non-weekend operations.
    • Teenager is expected, in the event that they are the first one to wake, to allow all applicable pet’s access to the yard for morning waste management procedures.  If failure to do so occurs, teenager will take on any required clean up that may result from failure to comply.
      • Pets will not be held responsible for accidents as they have not been trained on proper doorknob use.
      • Teenager will not claim ignorance of any previous groundings mandates in the event that they are found engaging in unsolicited electronic usage upon being discovery by a parental unit that has not yet consumed 1 to 2 cups of coffee.

 1Pants are not defined as any garment that one puts over their underpants, but as clothing that reaches from waist to ankles for the fulfillment of this operating procedure.

 2Note: Personal Hygiene responsibilities are not limited to the herein mentioned. However, as this is a repeated point of confusion it is being given special acknowledgement in the operation procedure.

SECTION 2 – TEENAGER RESPONSIBILITIES | REWARD BASED

Teenager has been repeatedly reminded there is a difference between needs and privileges.

‘Needs’ have been defined as: the materials, attention, and care that the parental units are required to provide in order to ensure the teenager’s proper mental and physical development. (See link for listing of applicable necessities LINK PENDING)

‘Privileges’ have been defined as: usage of none necessity materials generally provided for entertainment with no education or redeeming qualities. (See link for listing of applicable privileges LINK PENDING)

Teenager continues to rebel against these definitions but has yet to provide convincing argument as to why they are not appropriate. For supporting documentation see:

  • Teenager Philosophical Inquiry: Why does the person providing entertainment equipment and funding the costs of upkeep3 decide who will be allowed to use said equipment? (LINK PENDING)
  • Lecture Notes: Money Is Acquired Through Parental Sacrifice Of Time And Energy (LINK PENDING)

Teenager is not required to live up to any of the expectation laid out in the herein procedure in order to be provided with needs.  However, privileges will not be provided should teenager be found in deviation.

As laid out in the previous mentioned Lecture Notes, saying “no” to a parental request for teenager chore completion is unacceptable behavior and will result in privilege flow disruption.

  • “In a minute” is not an unacceptable response as long as said responsibility is accomplished within the hour of initial request.
  • In addition, no response and/or simple angry glaring by teenager will be considered a “no.”
    • Angry glaring while performing requested chore is consider compliant.
    • Crying is not an acceptable response and is considered non-compliant. 4

3 See (1) previously mentioned Energy Consumption SOP, (2) Monthly Internet Billing Invoices Archive, (3) Video and Console Game Receipts archive.

4See Lecture Notes: Crying For Inappropriate Reasons after the Age of 10.

Section 3 – Parental Obligations | (Negative And Positive)

NEGATIVE:

Though, in most instances5, it gives the herein mention parental unit no pleasure to assign out punishments or lectures, failure of the teenager to comply with the above guidelines will require escalation by the parent to ensure future compliance.

Applicable escalation strategies are listed, but not limited to, below:

  • Confiscation of some or all electronic equipment | See Applicable Privileges Listing
    • This includes equipment not directly provide by parent.
      • See Philosophical Dilemma Archive (LINK PENDING).
        • Giving Santa Clause Credit For Milestone Gifts
        • Grandparents And Relatives Are Spoiling Teenager
        •  Temporary Banishment To Predetermine Destination
          • Usually Teenagers Room,
          • a specified corner is not without precedent.
          • Hand-Written assignment in which Teenager must argue and counter argue his own case. 6
          • Forced Endurance of Long Winded Explanation of Parental logic, usually material previously covered at an earlier occurrences of similar circumstance.  (See Lecture Archive LINK PENDING)
          • In extreme circumstances, it’s been shown effective to threaten that all entertainment devices considered non-necessity be hooked up to a single circuit breaker.  This circuit breaker is then placed behind an appropriate sized padlock which assures that teenager will not be able to break any implemented grounding mandates out by the parent.  In effect, if both parents happen to not be present while teenager is occupying the family residence alone, mandate is then still enforced.

5 See Database | Teenager Behaving as an Epically Selfish Ass (LINK PENDING).

6 Hand-Written is recommended as computer typed requires parental supervision in order to ensure that Teenager stays on task.

 

POSTIVE:

As teenager’s key desire is that nothing be requested of them and no privileges be revoked. A key positive outcome for Teenager compliance is that parental units will not address teenager for reason outside of requesting what toppings they prefer the Parent have included on Pizza orders they may be purchasing for teenager consumption.  Note: Pizza has not been added to the needs listing at this writing.

Given compliance to the above, teenager is allowed to continue using the entertainment based equipment and peripherals and necessary electrical power without interruption.

Parental SIGNATURE

 

_____________________________________________________________mm/dd/yyyy

 

TEENAGURE SIGNATURE (NOT REQUIRED)

 

_____________________________________________________________mm/dd/yyyy

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