The Never Name | Response to DPChallenge

My parents had two boys  and I was the younger.  It was 33 years ago now, there was no sonogram performed, so they didn’t know what sex I would be.   However, this did not stop my mother from wishful thinking.  Her doctor at the time let slip some pseudo-science theory that my heart beat was indicative of a female.   My parents always wanted a boy and a girl, so I think they were eager to believe that it sounded plausible.  Still, I don’t think my mother was so stoked to find out that she was now in a house with three boys.  I say this, because 8 days after I was born, I still didn’t have a name… but more about that later.

When I think of my name, two things come to mind: (1) a character that belongs in an 80’s movie, a D-bag with a sweater tied around his shoulders driving off to go play tennis in a convertible. (2) Kurt Russell.

Kurt Russell?

I have a rule about clothing.  It’s simple and it’s served me well. If the leading man in an action movie wouldn’t wear something, I don’t wear it. It’s saved me from a number of wardrobe purchases I’d of regretted.  I think the same applies to names, and if I ever have a son of my own*, he’s getting a main character name.  Look, its like this, if I don’t give my son the name of a cool protagonist, then his story is destined to be one of a comedy side kick.  That said,  in 1999 there was an action movie where the main character had my name.  It starred Kurt Russell, and I think it’s noteworthy as the name is tattooed on his face throughout the entire film.

Still, this isn’t where Kurt Russell and my name part ways.  In a coincidence, Mr. Russell provided the voice of the adult hound dog named Copper in Disney’s Fox and the Hound.  Now, if you know Latin, and haven’t looked up movies from 1999 with Kurt Russell, you might already know my name.  My name means “Fox” in Latin, and Disney, being clever, named the Fox of their movie after me.  There is an obvious ‘Fox’ joke here where I try to imagine my parents precognitive ability to know I be so damn sexy, but its eluding me.

Regardless of all that nonsense, my name is simple and one syllable.  It doesn’t take 9 months and 8 days to come up with.    So I don’t believe my mother when she tells me she wasn’t hoping for a girl.

*I have a step son and his name is awesome, but I didn’t get to pick it.